


i want to go home

by writing_words (fandom_cliQue)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I Don't Even Know, Langst, M/M, Post Season Six, Talking, enjoy, eventually, fluff?, they kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 07:09:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15359019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_cliQue/pseuds/writing_words
Summary: occasionally they form voltron to move a little faster, and when in voltron without a threat, the lions go on autopilot and the paladins can move amongst the ships. keith makes his way to the red lion.





	i want to go home

'If the lions are okay like this, I'm going to sleep.' Pidge's voice crackled through the intercoms. 

'Voltron seems to be on autopilot,' Keith responded in monotony. 'You should be fine, just stay on alert. We're probably generating a lot of energy like this, we'll be on a lot of scanners.'

'Yeah yeah,' Pidge muttered in response, her voice already fading from the microphone as she removed her helmet. 

'I'll probably follow suit,' Allura said solemnly. 'Or at least just rest. Blue's set up a makeshift bedroom for me in the cargo hold. I recommend you boys do the same eventually.'

'Sure thing, princess,' Lance replied, voice devoid of any usual pizzazz. When Allura didn't comment, it was obvious she had left her helmet in the cockpit of Blue as well. 

The silence that settled on those awake within Voltron hung like fog in the halls of the lions. Thick and nearly tangible, almost mocking in its ability to consume everything within reach. Despite the occasional beep from the dashboard of Red alerting him the surrounding universe was clear, Lance couldn't help but feel like he was immersed in molasses: dark and unforgiving. 

Hunk fell asleep in the cockpit, eventually, his soft snores reaching Keith and Shiro, Lance, and Coran. Lance was tempted to wake him up just to send him off to sleep properly, but didn't have the heart, or the energy, in the end. Voltron chugged along, Hunk snored, and Lance lost track of time. The stars outside the windows ( _something, more, everything, home_ ) started to blend together and look the same, until Lance was sure they were going in circles, but the instruments on Red told him they were heading steadily closer and closer towards Earth. Home. Lance felt goosebumps on his upper arms, despite the perfectly pleasant temperature of the cockpit. 

He couldn't be sure how long it had been since Pidge and Allura headed off, but Lance heard the doors behind him  _swoosh_  open, and a moment later, Keith leaned over his shoulder to click his intercom off, silencing Hunk's snores. Lance couldn't muster the energy to tease the leader, instead just pull his helmet off and swing his chair around to face Keith. 

'Have you slept,' was what Keith started with, each word clipped as if he were ready to launch into a verbal argument. Lance shrugged in response. 

'Have you?'

'A bit,' Keith admitted, looking past Lance towards the vast universe ( _something, more, everything, home_ ) stretched through the window. ‘It’s been nearly three vargas.’

'Can you leave the black lion empty, even on auto pilot?'

It was Keith's turn to shrug. 'Shiro's asleep on the floor and Coran is somewhere in the cargo hold. I'm not too worried.' 

'So what are you worried about,' Lance asked, training his eyes on Keith's chest. He saw Keith's eye line change from the stars ( _something, more, everything, home_ ) to his face, but Lance couldn't bring himself to ask a serious question and maintain eye contact. That was too much. 

'A lot,' Keith answered finally, vaguely, emptily. The paladin hopped on to the stretch of empty dashboard on the left and leaned his head back against the glass, a motion that made Lance's heart speed up, horrifying images of the glass cracking, shattering, Keith being sucked out into space with no helmet and no hope. Also, Keith's neck, but Lance would never acknowledge that first. 'Shiro, probably, first of all. I guess that's selfish.'

'No,' Lance defended instantly. 'He's family. It's fine.' Images of his mom, his siblings, aunts, cousins, the beaches he swam on in Varadero, and then Southern California, flashed against his eyelids when he blinked. He blinked again; this time it was Shiro, Pidge, Hunk, members of the coalition. A third blink saw the Galra, fire, fear, his family running for their lives, and the goosebumps were back. 

Keith didn't notice. His eyes were trained on the ceiling, half-lidded, lost in thought. 'Then, Earth. Our plans once we get there. I'm worried about Allura. That whole Lotor thing hit pretty hard, I suppose.'

'Yeah,' Lance agreed. 

'And... I don't know. Everything else in general.'

'Makes sense,' Lance sighed, swinging himself around to face space ( _something, more, everything, home_ ) again.

Keith was silent for a while, and Lance could feel his eyes on the back of his head, could see his reflection in Red's windows. 

Then the dreaded, 'What about you?'

Lance tightened his grip on the handles of his seat. 'Me? Not much, you know, the universe, I guess, but aren't we all?' He finished the word vomit off with a signature, albeit weak, chuckle.

'Lance, come on,' Keith said, and Lance was struck again by how different Keith was now, and not just physically. More assertive, sure of himself, understanding of others, even. Lance couldn't help but feel a little cheated; two warped years on a space whale with his mom had given Keith the advantage in this rivalry, and Lance didn't know how he could ever catch up. 

'Lance,' Keith prompted again, placing a hand on Lance's shoulder. Lance hadn't even realized Keith had stood up, much less moved behind him. 

Lance took a moment before turning his chair around to face his leader again, hesitating on the right words. 

'It's,' Lance started, but paused, his exhaustion getting to his ability to translate. 'Uh. Well. I worry about family, too. Shiro, Pidge, Hunk. If anything happened I'd lose my fucking mind.'

Keith snorted. 'Subtle way of keeping me off of that.'

Lance didn't rise to the bait. 'I guess I'm worried about what's next, you know? I mean, without wormholes and the Castle of Lions, we're really slowed down in terms of getting h—back to Earth.'

Keith studied Lance's face for a moment. 'Your family?'

'Yeah,' Lance agreed half-heartedly. 'Yeah, they... The last time they heard from me was the Garrison. I know Mr. Holt went back and stuff but... what if they don't recognize me? Or what if I put them in danger? My youngest sibling is only... 11. She's 11 now if November has passed. Or... how long have we been fighting the Galra?'

Keith shrugged apologetically. 'My time in the Quantum Abyss really killed my ability to operate on Earth time.'

Lance shook his head. 'Well, it's fine. She was 10 when I left. Disappeared. I mean, _God_. I disappear for God knows how long, then a scientist presumed _dead_ a year before my disappearance turns up with my crappy, half-assed, shitfucked goddamn _screwup_ of an apology and explanation and I–' Lance paused to breathe, feeling he was losing it. 'Did they believe him? My mother probably wouldn't. She'd need me in the flesh to change her mind about whatever M.I.A bullshit the Garrison put out about me.'

Keith looked uncomfortable, his hand resting on the headrest of the pilot chair. Lance suddenly recognized how desperate he sounded; how Keith couldn't relate, his whole family being asleep in the cockpit of his lion just a three minute walk away. He hastily rubbed his eyes to dismiss any tears that were welling up and spun his chair back to the dashboard so quickly, Keith nearly fell over. 

'So. I guess I'm worried about the same things as you.'

Keith didn't comment for a while. Lance couldn't tell if he was contemplating his words or just hesitant to say anything at all. They stayed frozen like that for a while, Lance's eyes trained on a fixed point of darkness outside ( _something, more, everything, home_ ), Keith hovering uncertainly behind him, words balanced on the tip of his tongue, held hostage by molasses that had slowly flooded the room when they weren't paying attention.

‘I’m sure they miss you,’ Keith offered, but Lance shrugged it off. He knew they missed him; he missed them. But it was the questions they’d ask, the situations he’d put them through, and the future of the entire fucking universe that made him hesitate, worry, confused. 

‘Look, we’re going back for the future of the universe, but also for our individual loves. You think Hunk isn’t scared and worried of what might become of his family? That Pidge’s first instinct wouldn’t be to chose her parents over the fate of the universe? I could be having this conversation with them right now, except they did the logical thing and are off sleeping while the lions are on autopilot, so they can at least attempt a brave face when we get back!’

Lance recognized the edge in Keith’s voice and slowly turned to face him, yet again. The black paladin’s face was scrunched into an annoyed expression, one Lance often prompted, and this time was no different. The height he had gained that Lance still wasn’t used to made Keith a little more intimidating than normal, and Lance felt himself flush with embarrassment and shame. 

‘Guess I should go sleep then,’ Lance muttered, pushing past Keith on his way toward the doors, head down. He was nearly to the door when Keith caught his arm. He didn’t force Lance to turn back around, just hold his spot and listen. 

‘I’m saying you’re behaving as expected of you,’ Keith said, audibly struggling to find his next words. ‘We can’t expect each other to put on this show of bravery and leadership when no one genuinely feels that.’ Keith paused for a moment, then laughed lowly. ‘Except Shiro. He seems to be made out of something else entirely.’ Lance pulled his arm from Keith’s grasp, but didn’t move forward. ‘My point is, breakdown. Cry, do whatever you need to do to get it out of your system, because we need to. And when we get home, your family will still love you, and Voltron will do everything it can to save the galaxy.’

‘And what if that’s not enough,’ Lance asked, tripping over the end of Keith’s words. ‘I mean, what if we do _everything_ in our power, and it doesn’t do jack shit!’

Keith forcefully spun Lance around then, gripping him by the shoulders and leaning in close. ‘At least we did everything in our power. There’s not much else we can do.’

Lance wanted to argue, wanted to throw a tantrum and cry, wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and scream until he lost his voice, but Keith held him firmly by the shoulders. As more emotions coursed through him than he previously thought possible, Lance instinctively pushed himself towards Keith, catching the paladin’s mouth ungracefully, before pushing back instantly. 

‘ _Sorry_ , shit, sorry dude, I’m just–‘ Lance exhaled, eyes on the ground. Keith stood stock still, and Lance didn’t have any dignity left to just turn and walk away. 

‘Are all kisses that weird,’ Keith voiced eventually, and Lance felt his ears turn pink. 

‘Well, no, I mean, look I’m sorry, that wasn’t–it shouldn’t have–wait–have you never been kissed?’ The final thought came to Lance as he took a moment to interpret Keith’s question. Lance’s surprise overruled his embarrassment and he tilted his head to find Keith looking confused and mildly annoyed, like he knew he was missing something, but couldn’t quite put his finger on it. When Lance made eye contact, the annoyed expression became superior. 

‘I mean, it’s not like I’ve had time to just–just–kiss people. You know, what with saving the galaxy and all, that just never took priority.’ 

‘Yeah, no, of course,’ Lance apologized, a little pleased to have something to hold over Keith, while simultaneously embarrassed and guilty for his actions. 

The boys held eye contact for a while, unsure of who should make the first move, of what should be done next. Lance opened his mouth a few times, prepared to voice some thought or another, but shut it again within the second. 

‘So then… what are kisses normally like?’ Keith’s voice sounded unbelievably innocent, and Lance felt his neck getting hot. 

‘Uh… they’re uh… nice? Soft sometimes, if you want them to be. I suppose it becomes instinct? But you can, like, learn things. If, I don’t know, you can learn how… well-‘ Lance sputtered out unhelpfully. Keith’s eyebrows furrowed and Lance wished he’d never even spoken to Keith when the leader first arrived. ‘They’re, uh, intimate? Intimate, yeah.’ Lance was tapping his hands furiously on his hips, legs, at his pockets. ‘I mean, look, they’re like–‘ Keith stepped forward, grabbed Lance’s face, and kissed him again, somewhat awkwardly. Keith had the lucky forethought of putting his hands on Lance’s cheeks, because Lance’s arms flailed behind him, unsure if he should touch Keith or not. 

Keith pulled away after a split second, eyes bright and breath cool across Lance’s face. ‘Like that?’

‘Uh, yeah, I mean, yeah,’ Lance stuttered. ‘Or, um, maybe more like.’ Lance kissed Keith this time, a little harder, and the desperation of two teenage boys tasked with saving the universe ( _something, more, everything, home_ ) poured itself into the action, Keith pulling Lance as close as he possibly could. Lance would never admit it, but the last time he thought about kissing Keith, Keith had been shorter, and Lance had been the one to pull the boy close, but as Lance moved his hands to the back of Keith’s head, he wasn’t too disappointed with the detail changes of his fantasy. Keith wasn’t a great kisser, but Lance was out of practice, and this seemed to be less about ‘what’s next’ and more ‘ _you’re here_ ’. By the time they broke away, Lance’s hands were pulling Keith’s face closer and Keith’s arms were wrapped around Lance’s waist, pulling him flush against his body. 

‘So, yeah, something like that,’ Lance managed, his voice a little breathier than he would have liked. Keith was visibly blushing, and Lance knew he was probably as red as him, but neither boy stepped back. 

‘Huh,’ Keith said finally, his voice annoyingly even. ‘I get it.’

A pause. A breath. Keith chewed on his lip for a second. 'Can I kiss you again?'

Lance gave a microscopic nod, surprised that Keith felt the need to ask, despite the fact that they were still nose to nose. The boys had barely brushed lips again before sounds of footsteps echoed outside in the hall and Lance jumped back just as the doors opened to reveal Shiro, looking a little more rested than before. 

'Hey, there's some weird scans coming in on the monitors; Keith, do you want to check it out?'

Keith cleared his throat before he spoke. 'Yeah, sure.' He squared his shoulders and started after Shiro, who had already turned back towards the path to the Black Lion. Keith paused at the door as Shiro disappeared around a corner. 

'You going to be okay?'

Lance straightened as he held eye contact with Keith ( _something, more, everything, home_ ) and smiled slightly. 'Are you coming back?'

'Once I check this out, we are _definitely_ finishing this conversation.'

Lance felt a warmth in his stomach, pleased by how comforted he felt. 'Yeah okay. I'll be fine.'

Keith smiled, reminiscent of the time he informed Lance that he should leave math to Pidge. 'Okay.' And the doors  _swooshed_ shut behind him.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> so, i sorta presented keith as 'having it together' but i think in terms of leadership, particularly w/lance, he would have it together a little more ? i guess s7 will tell us how he's matured, but i like to think he's got a better handle on ~certain~ emotions. we'll probably still get a lot of dysfunction from him tho, not gonna lie. and i needed to give lance a chance to like... not be the comedic relief. yeah. idk, i wrote this at 3 am. i like how it started off kinda serious and then just went to shit. have fun.


End file.
